Sometimes it’s easy to
forget that most of the coastal area of Peru is a desert.
In our quest to get out of
the city for a while, we headed south of Lima
by bus, to a tourist settlement called “Paracas,” which is a word from the
ancient language of the Incas. It means,
“Charge double for everything if your customer is a white guy.”
This applies to hotel rooms
and buffet meals, as mentioned in the previous installment, Cheapskates and Stingrays, but honestly, the pricing structure of things to do is pretty
reasonable, in the case of the below-mentioned activity, about $30 each.
We all piled into a van
outside the hotel, where the driver romped on the gas like he had just stolen a
family of Americans. It seemed like none
of the other cars on the road were going fast enough for this guy, and
no-passing zones here are like…wait, there aren’t any, so I can’t compare them
to anything else in some bright flash of literary simile.
After twenty minutes of a
thirty minute drive, we arrived at our destination.
A small building, with a
covered pavilion, sat next to a structure which looked like a giant white
beehive. I speculated that a miniature Jabba
the Hutt lived inside, and I guessed that he wore a sombrero and only spoke
Spanish. “Que pasa grin goh…ha ha ha
haaaa…”
Out to the horizon was a sea
of sand dunes that gave me a flashback of Camp
Beuhring, Kuwait,
without the camels. Our van driver
handed us goggles, and we strapped ourselves into a dune buggy. Mr. Fast and Furious climbed into the driver’s
seat. That explained a lot.
Within minutes, we were
speeding across the sand, and up and down the dunes. There was no rhyme or reason to our route,
the purpose of which seemed to be only to instill my wife with terror.
“I’m gonna throw up!” yelled
my older daughter.
“That’s why you’re in the
back!” I answered back.
Finally we came to a stop at
the top of one of the taller dunes, the driver shut off the engine, and we
disincorporated ourselves from the buggy.
I seized a teaching moment. “Your great grandma did this about six months
ago. She’s 87. If she can hack it, so can you.”
“But I’ve got my whole life
ahead of me!” answered my teenager.
At that point, personal
responsibility went off the chain. The
second part of our activity consisted of riding a sand-board to the bottom of
the dune in question. It’s probably most
similar to sledding, except hot, dry, incredibly fast, and with a much greater
chance of open fracture.
Which of course meant my
youngest and I were all for it, while the other child and the spouse would
agree to participate if we didn’t die in our attempt.
After checking to be sure
there wasn’t a Sarlacc pit at the bottom, I planted my tush onto this thing and
hung on for dear life. The total
distance of the slide was maybe a hundred yards, and a pretty fun ride.
What wasn’t fun was the walk
back up the dune in loose sand. If you
have a place like this in your back yard, there’s no reason to waste your money
on a Stair-master.
After a few trips down the
hill in this manner, the whole family was tired of walking back up. One more trip down, and the driver would pick
us up.
As we climbed back into our
buggy for the trip back, I assessed the value of today’s activity.
“Did you guys have fun?” I
asked my daughters.
“I’ve got SAND in my teeth,”
the older said.
“If that’s the only place
you’ve got sand, you’re doing all right.”